Pit

I feel it move into me. Filling in all the empty spaces. Yet when it takes me over I feel emptier. This darkness brews. Each time it comes and goes it leaves a little more of itself behind. Each time it comes, its visits seem more extended than the last. At its arrival, I am enraged. It is a slow, burning fire deep in the heart of me. During these times I am not quick to anger nor do I display any true emotions. I intentionally hurt people and take pleasure in it. Sucking out their joy, hope, and happiness they have ever found in me pleases, feeds, and nurtures me. I become a glutton for punishing. I seek to be left alone. I isolate myself and socializing becomes achingly unbearable. The only people I can speak freely to are the ones who may not understand but do accept the darkness within me. I’m sinister. There is evil in this. I can physically feel the change in me. My facial expressions dement. This has been me since I can remember. Anytime it comes I feel like it’s an old friend. I know it wants to permanently take hold of me. I am considering it.